


Only Human

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 04:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11097093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: Chakotay confronts Kathryn after finding she has been spending hours in the holodeck. Concerned that she is with Michael again, he investigates and finds Seven’s program. Episode addition for Human Error.





	Only Human

“Computer, locate Captain Janeway.”

“Captain Janeway is in holodeck one.” Chakotay frowned. The holodeck again? That was the fifth or sixth time in as many days. He was curious to know what she was doing in there. She’d never been one to spend that many hours ‘time wasting’ as she called it. It must be something special to have her so enthralled.

He admitted to himself that he was a little miffed. They often shared their holodeck time, but there had been no invitation forthcoming and he’d barely seen her all week. She’d also been rather cursory and dismissive in her dealings with him, not once sharing coffee or lunch as was their habit. Each day, once her shift was over, she’d been leaving the bridge and going straight to her quarters or to the holodeck.

It was unusual behaviour for Kathryn, and he wondered what had happened, or more likely what he’d done, that had made her retreat again. He had trouble understanding her sometimes. Everything had seemed to be going along so well. His concern for her after her sojourn on Quarra had been unwarranted. She seemed to have bounced back from that remarkably well. He’d thought perhaps that she was missing that fellow, Jaffen, but he didn’t think so. She’d told him, that even though they’d lived together for a short time, once her memories had returned, she’d felt a fondness for him but could not have contemplated being in a long term relationship with him. Chakotay hadn’t delved further and she’d seemed happy and content with her life on Voyager. The only other things of note since then had been their encounter with the subspace munitions range, and Seven’s illness.

They were now well away from the munitions range, and Seven had recovered from whatever had been ailing her, and was back at work in Astrometrics, her usual efficient self.

He was puzzled and a little concerned. He didn’t want Kathryn becoming depressed again. That had been torture for her, for him and for the crew. He wondered if he should wander down to the holodecks and see what she was up to. It couldn’t hurt, and if she was agreeable, he might be able to join her in whatever program she was running. He’d missed her this week and maybe in the holodeck, away from the pressures of command, she would open up and tell him what was worrying her.

He felt a little happier as he left his office.

Wandering up the corridor to the holodecks, he smiled to himself. He was looking forward to seeing Kathryn and spending some time with her. He really had missed her. However his smile quickly faded after checking the status of the holodeck. She had the privacy lock engaged. He wouldn’t be joining her then.

He felt a tightness in his chest and anger bubbled up before he could tamp it down. What the hell was she doing in there? His mind took him to places he didn’t want to go. And every day for a week? Why would she need the privacy lock on? Why indeed. It was probably that God damned Irishman again. He should have deleted him when he’d had the chance. Damn it. He turned and strode up the corridor and back to his quarters.

Once safely ensconced, he ordered tea from the replicator and stood by the window. He shouldn’t feel this way. He hated feeling this way. She had every right to indulge in whatever she liked on the holodeck. But he was being eaten up by jealousy. Why couldn’t she see that she didn’t have to rely on holodeck characters? He could be there for her. It was so…. demeaning, and the crew would find out. They always did. The debacle with the Fair Haven barkeep should have taught her a lesson. The crew had sniggered about that for weeks after it happened. Half of them had been there when the drunken Michael Sullivan had climbed up the tree in the Fair Haven square and bellowed her name over and over, until Neelix had managed to coax him down. She’d been mortally embarrassed at the time. He and Tuvok had protected her from most of the fallout of that ‘affair’, but it looked like she was compromising herself again. The frustrating thing was that it was more damaging to her command status to be seen fraternising with a hologram than it ever would be if she were involved with him. The crew would be far more accepting of their being together than they could ever be of her dalliances with the hologram.

He felt compelled to find out what was going on, if only to save her from more embarrassment.

“Computer, notify me when the captain leaves the holodeck.”

It was his responsibility after all, to ensure her safety. He would go to the holodecks after she’d finished and find out what program she had been running. He had to make sure she wasn’t compromising her command status or her well being. He could justify his interference in relation to the safety of the ship and crew… sort of.

He had another cup of tea and waited impatiently for the computer to inform him of her exit from the holodeck. An hour or so later the computer chimed to say that she had left. Chakotay grabbed his jacket and stalked out of his quarters.

Kathryn was returning to her quarters when she saw Chakotay heading towards her. She checked her breathing and planned on nodding a quick good evening and then escaping into her room.

“Hello, Kathryn. Have you had a good night?” He was looking at her with a scowl.

“Fine, thank you, Chakotay. I’m just off to bed now. Good night.” She was exhausted. She’d just spent two hours on the holodeck, and needed some sleep.

He was scrutinising her closely. Her hair was slightly mussed and her eyes were a little puffy. She looked like someone who had just got out of bed. The anger started to bubble more furiously. He spoke harshly. “Sleep well, Captain.”

She blinked. ‘Captain’? He was angry with her and she had no idea why, but just at the moment she didn’t care. She would deal with it later. Now she just needed to escape from his presence and sleep. If she could.

She opened the doors to her quarters and turning for a moment, she watched Chakotay as he stalked off down the corridor. Lowering her head and with tears pricking her eyes, she disappeared into her darkened room.

Chakotay entered the lift. “Deck six”. Once there, he strode angrily down the corridor. Entering holodeck one, he stood in front of the control panel. He shouldn’t be doing this. It was a gross invasion of her privacy, but he honestly did have her best interests at heart. Spirits, she was his heart, but she was also the captain, and she shouldn’t be doing anything that might undermine her command status or possibly put her at risk. Well, that was his excuse anyway.

“Computer, what’s the name of the program previously run by Captain Janeway?”

“Seven of Nine Alpha 3 Personal quarters.”

Chakotay almost fell over. Seven and Kathryn? Had the world gone mad? Surely not. He knew they were close, but he looked upon it as a mother/daughter relationship. It would never have occurred to him that Kathryn…. and Seven? He couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t believe it.

“Computer, run logs from Seven of Nine Alpha 3 Personal quarters.”

“Unable to comply. The logs are encrypted.”

“Computer, override. Chakotay gamma epsilon 56.”

“Unable to comply.”

“Damn it.” He slapped his hand down on the panel. He stood staring at the console for a moment.

B’Elanna!

“Chakotay to Torres.”

“Torres here.”

“B’Elanna, can you come down to holodeck one? There is a problem I need you to sort out.”

“Can it wait, Chakotay? I’ve just got off shift.”

“No, Lieutenant. I need you here now.”

“Yes, sir. On my way.” B’Elanna looked at Tom and rolled her eyes. Sighing, she heaved her pregnant body out of her seat.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She gave him a quick kiss and walked wearily out the door. This had better be important. She was tired and hungry and getting more and more uncomfortable everyday.

She arrived at the holodeck and found an irate Chakotay busily tapping the console. He was getting more and more frustrated with each bleep telling him access was denied. He turned to her as she entered and without preamble started ordering her about.

He was in some sort of snit and she was wise enough to know not to antagonise an upset Chakotay.

“B’Elanna, I need access to the program that was just running. Can you override this encryption code?”

B’Elanna had a look at the information he was trying to access and then frowned up at him. “Chakotay, this is the captain’s personal program. We could be in serious trouble if she found out. I’m not happy about doing this.”

“I’ll make it an order if you like. Just do it.” She wasn’t impressed with his bullying, but she wasn’t about to irritate him anymore than he was already. It was an order. What could she do?

She tapped in some commands, pulled the panel off the front of the console and fiddled with some relays and then ordered the computer to run the program. The screen on the console came to life. It showed the interior of someone’s quarters, bathed in candle light. “Computer, pause playback.”

Chakotay looked at B’Elanna. “Thank you, B’Elanna. That will be all.”

“Sure, Chakotay.” She was still frowning as she made her way to the door. She turned. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? She’ll be livid if she finds out.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “We’re the only two people who know. So…”

“Ok, Ok. I get the picture. But I just want you to know I’m not happy about it.”

“Noted. Goodnight, B’Elanna.” She walked out the doors.

He turned back to the console. “Continue playback.” He watched intently.

He was torn. On the one hand, he wanted to know what she was doing, but on the other, he was afraid of what he might find.

There was Seven. She was wearing a low cut red dress, her hair falling loosely around her shoulders. Her implants were gone and she looked almost human. But where was Kathryn?

Seven walked over to the mirror and checked her hair. Then there was a voice. One he recognised. His voice… saying that she ‘looked perfect’. What the hell? Why had Kathryn programmed him into this scenario? It was getting stranger by the minute.

It was excruciating to watch. His hologram, and the Seven character, were engaging in the most inane banter that he’d ever heard. Now he was chopping vegetables and looking forward to having rack of lamb. Kathryn knew he didn’t eat meat. None of this made sense and where the hell was she?

What in God’s name was that? Seven sucking his finger? “Computer, pause playback. Who is the author of this program?”

“Seven of Nine.”

Seven wrote this program. Things were making even less sense now.

“Computer, was the Captain present during the last run of this program?”

“Affirmative.” She was here, but where?

“Computer, run full holodeck playback of logs, showing the captain. Mask my signature.”

The holodeck came to life with the Seven and Chakotay characters standing in the kitchen and there was Kathryn standing in the shadows by the window. What was she doing? His attention was brought back to the pair in the kitchen. Seven was showing him or rather his hologram, how to chop carrots. This would have to have been one of the most absurd and asinine seductions of all time. It was laughable. Well, he would have laughed if it hadn’t been for the look on Kathryn’s face. She appeared frighteningly impassive, but he could see her eyes. They were burning. She was standing with her arms held rigidly at her side, her whole being focused on what was happening between him and Seven. He watched as Seven moved and stood near the table. His character followed her and they tried to open the wine. Then the holo Chakotay came out with the worst pickup line he had ever heard. ‘I don’t want to sound like an old holonovel but you’ve got a wonderful smile’. He groaned. Too late. That’s exactly what it sounded like. A tawdry old holonovel. Good lord, where did this stuff come from? Now they were trying to open the wine again, but Seven stopped and told the holo Chakotay that he had a ‘pleasing facial structure’.

This was truly awful and he shook his head trying not to laugh. He looked up again and Seven was caressing his doppelganger’s face and then she leaned forward and kissed him. His attention was diverted by a sound in the corner. It was Kathryn. She was back against the window further in the shadows, but she had bent forward and was gripping the sill, her knuckles white with the strain. She looked terrible. He wanted to go to her, but remembered that this wasn’t real. She then moved forward and stood close to the pair and watched as Chakotay returned the kiss. She then hung her head and slunk back into the shadows. He could see tears in her eyes. Why was she doing this? What in heaven’s name did she think she would achieve by putting herself through this? He watched as the pair moved to the couch and fell into each others arms. He’d seen enough. If he had to watch them having sex, he would be sick. “Pause playback.”

He stood in front of the unmoving Kathryn. She had leant back against the viewport, looking out at the holographic starscape. She looked so very sad, and any anger he’d felt dissolved instantly. Was she upset because she thought he was having an affair with Seven? His heart soared at the thought of her being jealous, but then ached at the idea of her being so unhappy. Surely she knew these were just holograms, and that Seven was the last person he would ever be interested in. .

“Computer, is the Seven of Nine character a hologram?”

“Negative.”

So this was the real Seven, and she was having an imaginary affair with a hologram of him. The thought made him squirm.

He was starting to get an inkling of what had happened here. Seven had created a hologram of him and had used it to indulge in intimate relations. He would be flattered, if he didn’t find the whole concept slightly nauseating. Kathryn had somehow stumbled on this scenario of Seven’s. What he couldn’t understand was why she was revisiting it everyday. She certainly didn’t seem to be enjoying it and why was she so upset? It wasn’t real. But then again, neither was Michael Sullivan and that had upset him immensely. He wasn’t sure what he should do about this. He’d like to speak to her, but if he did, she’d know he’d accessed her private files, and he knew, without a doubt, that she would not be happy about that. He had a real dilemma on his hands.

What to do? ……. Seven of Nine.

He would make her his first port of call. He needed to speak to her about using holograms of crew members without their permission and to be honest, he was pretty angry with her. Kathryn’s life was difficult enough, and she didn’t need this sort of thing. He would go and see her now and then try to figure out how to deal with the situation. Maybe Seven would know a little more about why Kathryn seemed so obsessed with this scenario. He wanted to believe it was because she was jealous and saddened by the thought of him with another woman, but he could never tell with Kathryn. He was wary enough not to jump to conclusions where Kathryn’s reactions were concerned.

He shut down the holodeck but reprogrammed the access codes so he could revisit it again if he needed. He then made his way to Astrometrics.

Seven was working at her console, her back ramrod straight. There was no sign of the softer, more approachable, holodeck Seven. He gave his head a shake. It was too difficult to even try and associate the two. “Seven?”

She turned and gave him a cold look. “Commander. Can I help you?” She moved to another console.

“Seven, I’ve just been to the holodeck. Can you tell me why you were using a hologram of me without my permission?”

Her head shot up and the colour drained from her face. “The captain said she would not tell you. I had no wish to embarrass you. I have deleted the program and had no intention of ever using it again.” She was rattled and unsure of herself, and he was deriving an insidious pleasure from seeing her so disconcerted.

“That is not what I asked you, Seven. Why me? And how long had you been using this program?”

“I used you because you seemed to be a suitable mate.” She stood up straight and looked him in the eye. “And the captain, as my mentor, seems to think you are a worthwhile specimen of masculinity. If she felt you were worthy of her affections, then I felt that you would be an adequate mate for me to experiment with. I used the program for 10 days.”

He was lost for words. All he could hear was ‘worthy of her affections’. He took a deep breath and continued his interrogation, although it was difficult to remain stern when his heart was singing. “So the captain knew about this?”

“Yes. I collapsed on the holodeck. My cortical node began to shut down and I went into neural shock. Naturally the captain was informed of my injury.”

“Naturally.” He frowned at her. “What was the outcome of all this? What was the captain’s reaction?”

“She was concerned for my welfare and visited me in sickbay.”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure she did. But what did she do about your use of holographic representations of the crew?” This was a bit like pulling teeth.

“She said I was not to do it again and revoked my holodeck privileges for a month. Commander, may I ask why you need to know these things? This all happened 2 weeks ago. It is of no consequence.”

“Perhaps for you, but … well… we’ll see. Thank you, Seven.” He turned to leave. “Oh, one other thing.” She nodded her head. “Did you program the simulation of me?”

“Yes, to some degree. I used the medical logs for your physical parameters and extrapolated your personality from your personal log entries.”

“And that reproduction was what the computer came up with?” He was surprised. It didn’t seem at all like him.

“It was modified slightly. I requested that the computer only use personal logs that did not include mention of the captain. As it happened, there was not a great deal of material for the computer to work with, so it must have extrapolated a personality for you that complimented the scenario.”

“I see. Well, carry on. And Seven?”

“Yes, Commander?”

“I can only reiterate the captain’s orders to not use representations of the crew on the holodeck without their permission. Understood?”

“Yes, Commander.”

Chakotay wandered out of the lab quite befuddled. What a night. There had been revelation after revelation, but he was still unsure of what to do. He was relieved that the holodeck recreation wasn’t a true representation of him, and he wasn’t surprised that the computer could only find a few files without Kathryn’s name being mentioned. She took up a good deal of space in his personal logs. She took up a good deal of space in his life and his heart.

As he walked, he mulled over this evening’s events. He was upset with Seven for using him like that without his permission. He was rapturously happy that Kathryn seemed to be jealous and unhappy about the thought of him with another woman. And he was unsure as to what to do about the whole mess.

He arrived back at his quarters with his mind still churning. A cup of tea and a quick shower later, and he still hadn’t come to any decision as to his actions. He needed Kathryn to know that he wasn’t the least bit interested in Seven, or any other woman for that matter. How should he go about it? His subtle courting over the years hadn’t worked. Maybe if he started leaving messages or notes for her, she would get the idea. Or presents, chocolates or flowers. She loved roses. Yes, he could do that. He moved to the replicator to order a bunch of roses, but stopped on his way. What the hell was wrong with him? He was behaving like that holodeck recreation. Kathryn with candy and flowers? What was he thinking? He had to tell her. Just straight out. They’d been friends and almost more, for nearly seven years. He just had to come out and tell her that he loved her and only her. Simple.

Imbued with a renewed sense of purpose, he left his quarters and walked down the corridor to Kathryn’s door. His progress slowed gradually until he was standing still, several feet from her door. What in God’s name was he doing? She’d have a fit. He’d be out an airlock or beamed straight to sick bay to be checked for alien mind control. Chances were that he’d misinterpreted her reaction, so if he told her he loved her, things would be forever awkward and uncomfortable. She’d hole up in her ready room for weeks, not speak to anyone and retreat even further than she had already. He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t that brave. He had to think of the crew. They would suffer too. They certainly had in the past.

He pivoted and headed back in the direction he had come. His progress slowed again as he approached his door. But he had to do something. She’d retreated already and would probably slip further away if he didn’t do something. He owed it to her and the crew to do something to snap her out of this. Telling her he loved her would certainly fall into that category. He pivoted again and walked up to her door. He lifted his hand to ring the chime, but it froze in mid air. He had to think of what he was going to say. *Kathryn, you are a wonderful person, an extraordinary captain and an outstandingly beautiful woman. I think it’s time that I told you of my feelings for you. We’ve been on this ship for almost 7 years now and we’ve worked closely with one another. I love you and I want to formalise our relationship. I’d like to be your partner in life as well as in command.* Perfect. It was straight forward, to the point, and not wishy washy like his hologram. He hit the chime. The doors slid open and he stepped into the dimly lit room.

She was still in her uniform, standing by the window holding a cup of coffee. “Chakotay? What can I do for you?”

He was struck dumb. His speech had dissolved and left his brain, in fact all words and thoughts had left his brain, and he was standing in her living area looking like a fool.

“Commander?” She turned and took a step towards him, frowning. “Was there something you wanted?”

He stood riveted to the spot. He couldn’t speak or move. He’d become the holo Chakotay, but without the drivel that he’d spoken.

“Umm .. I umm. It’s nothing, Captain. I’ll see you on the bridge.” He turned to go. Coward. The doors slid open and he was about to step into the corridor when he swung back around. Standing in the open doorway, he looked back at her. “Kathryn, I love you. I’ve always loved you and I always will.” He turned and left the room.

As he stepped out of the doorway, he ran smack bang into Harry, Tom and B’Elanna. All three were riveted to the deck with startled looks on their faces. They were staring over his shoulder at Kathryn. Only when the doors closed did they focus on him.

“Ensign, Lieutenants.” He nodded at the three and moved down the corridor to his quarters.

“Whoa, hold on there, Chakotay. What was that?” It was B’Elanna and she grabbed hold of his arm before he could escape.

Tom and Harry were looking back and forth between him and Kathryn’s door with stunned expressions on their faces.

“Nothing that should concern you, Lieutenant.” He hoped she would go away, but he didn’t like his chances.

“You have got to be kidding, Chakotay. Don’t you think you should go back there and see what she has to say about that? That’s a bit of a bomb to drop, and then walk out the door. You never know. She might have something to tell you.” B’Elanna was smiling at him, and Tom and Harry had come out of their stupors and followed them down the hall.

Tom slapped him on the back. “Way to go, Chakotay. Boy, have we waited a long time to hear that. I bet she has too.”

Harry walked around on his other side. “Come on, Sir. Let’s get you back in there and see what she has to say.” They escorted him back to Kathryn’s door. B’Elanna rang the chime, the doors swished open and all three shoved him through the entrance. The doors slid shut again behind him.

Kathryn hadn’t moved. She was still standing by the window with her coffee cup held at half mast staring at him.

He stumbled into the room and was again struck dumb and immobile. They both stood staring at each other. God, this was awkward. He cleared his throat with every intention of saying something profound, but nothing came to him, so instead he took an unsteady step forward. Kathryn took a step back. That didn’t bode well. He lifted his hand and held it out to her, but her eyes widened and she looked terrified. This was definitely not a good sign.

“I’m sorry, Kathryn. I’ll go.” He felt terrible. He’d obviously misinterpreted her reactions on the holodeck completely. His shoulders slumped and he turned around to leave.

“No.” He turned back. She was shaking her head. “No.”

No? No what? “Kathryn?” He moved towards her again. She didn’t move away this time. Things were looking up. As he got closer, he could see the distress on her face, and she was gripping her coffee cup so hard he wondered why it didn’t crumple in her hand. Her breathing was ragged, but then again so was his. He came to a stop a few feet from her, watching, as a myriad of emotions flashed across her face.

“Why?” First no, and now why.

“Why what, Kathryn?” He took another tentative step forward. He was sure he could see tears in her eyes.

“Why did you say you love me?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“Because I do. I always have. Do you really find that so hard to believe? It’s true and I should have made it clear before this. I’m sorry.”

She turned her back to him and looked out the window at the passing stars.

“Kathryn?” Things were not going quite as he’d planned. Well, not that he’d really planned anything. It was just that she wasn’t behaving how he’d imagined.

“Do you know what I’ve been doing over the last week? Why I’ve been spending so much time in the holodeck?”

“Yes and no. I know what you’ve been doing, but I don’t know why.”

She swung around and looked at him with a frown on her face. “How do you know?”

He tried not to look too guilty. “I had a look at the program you’ve been running.” She looked startled. “I’ve been worried about you. You’ve hardly spoken to me or anyone, and I was concerned you might be doing something dangerous on the holodeck. After B’Elanna’s episode with the Maquis, I just wanted to make sure you were OK.” Even he thought that sounded lame.

She turned back to the window and took a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to inure myself to the reality of you finding someone and leaving me.”

“Kathryn, I would never leave you.” He took another step towards her.

“I know you would never leave the ship, well, I hoped you never would, but one day you’re going to find someone, fall in love and you will leave me.” She was still staring out into space.

“Kathryn, I won’t leave you and I have no plans of falling in love with anyone. I can’t. I’m already in love with you.”

She wasn’t listening to what he was saying. “When I first saw Seven’s program, I had terrible trouble divorcing the holographic you from the real you. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you, and even being in your presence made me so angry and jealous. I knew in my head that it wasn’t you, but in my heart all I could see was you and Seven. Stupid, I know. Then it occurred to me that this was probably what was going to happen one day, and I decided that if I watched you with Seven over and over again, I could condition myself to seeing you with someone else and it would be easier to deal with when it became a reality.” She made a little hiccupping sound, something between a sob and a laugh. “It hasn’t worked. I’ve been feeling worse and worse every day. It’s like reopening a wound time and time again. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sort of. But Kathryn, you don’t have to do this. I love you. Don’t you see? I don’t love anyone else and most definitely do not love Seven. I love you and I don’t want anyone else but you. Do you understand?”

She still wasn’t listening. “You must think I’m so foolish. I’m sorry Chakotay, you don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.”

He’d had enough of this nonsense. He walked up behind her and took her in his arms, pulling her against his chest. Her body trembled, and resting his chin on her shoulder, he spoke into her ear. “Kathryn, I don’t want to go, now or ever. Are you listening to me? I love you. Do you hear me? I love you and will keep on loving you no matter what. I have continued to love you through all these years, through all our ups and downs, and through all our troubles.” He pulled away and took her shoulders and turned her around to face him. “Kathryn, I love you and I have to ask you. Are you so upset about this because you love me too? Can you tell me how you feel? I really need to know.”

She finally looked up into his face. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Here we go again. “Yes what, Kathryn?”

“Yes, I love you. I always have and I’ve always taken for granted that you’d be there. I just assumed you’d be there and… These last few weeks, I’ve been… I’ve been so un…unhappy.”

She then did the one thing that he never imagined she’d do. Kathryn Janeway cried. It was wonderful. Well, it was awful, but it was wonderful. She was miserable with just the thought of him being in love with someone else. He couldn’t be happier. He hauled her into his arms and held her close. She buried her head in his chest and held on tight.

After a few minutes she settled, and pulled back wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry, Chakotay.”

“Don’t be. Having you in my arms is wonderful.” He was stroking her back.

She looked up at him and frowned. “How the hell did you get into that program? I had it encrypted.”

Oh dear. “I had B’Elanna break the encryption.” She looked at him wide eyed.

She pushed herself away from him. “You what? So B’Elanna saw the program? I can’t believe you…”

“No. No-one has seen the program but you and me, and I haven’t even watched it all the way through. I couldn’t. It was making me feel ill.” He pulled her into his arms again. “I’m sorry, Kathryn. I know I shouldn’t have, but I thought you were in there with Sullivan again or some other holo lover and I was as jealous as hell. I was also concerned for you. You were acting so strangely, and I was worried about what you were doing. I wasn’t really thinking straight.” He looked down at her and gave her a sheepish grin. “I’m truly sorry. I promise I won’t do it again.”

She gave him a scathing look, eyes flashing. “You’d better not.” Her frown then softened into a weary smile. “In a way I’m glad you found me out. If I’d kept that up I would have holodecked myself into a complete funk.” She reached up and ran her fingers down the side of his face. “Computer, delete Holodeck program Seven of Nine Alpha 3.”

“Program deleted.”

He was looking at her face. It was slightly blotchy from crying, and her nose was a little red, but she was beautiful. He held her head in both hands and used his thumbs to wipe away the remnants of her tears. He lowered his head and gently touched his lips to hers.

He pulled back to gauge her reaction. She had her eyes closed and a smile hovered on her lips. Her lips. He bent his head again, and opening his mouth, he captured those lips in a deep kiss. Her mouth opened and they were lost in a world of sensation. Their bodies fell into one another, their mouths melded, and all of the insecurities and worries drifted away. After a time they moved to the couch and sat with their arms wrapped around one another just enjoying the closeness and the comfort of being together at last.

Chakotay was sitting with his arm draped over Kathryn’s shoulder, her head tucked against him and he was stroking his thumb on her arm. His stomach growled and she looked up at him with a smirk on her face. He gave her an apologetic grin.

“Sorry, I’m a bit hungry. How about you? Shall we get some dinner?” Kathryn snuggled into his side.

“I don’t want to move. I’m far too comfortable. But I suppose we should eat. What shall we have?”

Chakotay grinned down at her. “How about rack of lamb? I’m supposed to like that?”

She pulled back and looked at him wide eyed. “You!” She hit him on the arm. “Perhaps I should find some carrots for you to chop and you could wrestle with a bottle of wine too.”

“Kathryn Janeway! I’ll start spouting pathetic platitudes to your beauty and desirability if you’re not careful.”

“Oh, I don’t mind. Spout away.” She melted into his side again.

“Kathryn, I love you. Your beauty is beyond compare, your smile is like sunshine, your eyes are like diamonds and your lips are the petals of the softest rose.” He looked down at her. “How am I doing?”

She looked up at him with a peeved look. “Let’s get dinner.” He chortled and stood up, taking her with him. He swung her around a few times then held her tight against him and kissed her soundly. “I love you, Kathryn Janeway.”

“I love you too, Chakotay.” She ran her fingers over his tattoo and smiled at him, then moving over to the replicator together, they ordered their meals.

They sat and ate in silence, gazing at each other from opposite ends of the table. There was a slow crescendo of desire building. Each mouthful of food was followed from plate to mouth. Each movement slow and languid. Sips of wine were carefully watched, as lips met glass until the goblets were emptied and plates cleared. Cutlery was then gently laid aside and they sat staring at one another for countless moments. Then, in one fluid movement, both rose from the table and into each others arms.

Neither knew how, but suddenly they were in Kathryn’s bedroom.

Clothes were being removed in frenzied haste, with hands grabbing and heated kisses punctuating the seduction. Hands and mouths explored and stimulated. Touches aroused and excited. They were now both lost in a frantic race towards fulfilment. All the years of ignored needs and suppressed desires had inflamed them almost beyond their control.

Chakotay’s hands swept down the length of Kathryn’s body leaving exquisite trails of fire, her small gasps and groans intensifying his arousal, as he revelled in her responsiveness. Kathryn ran her hands down his back feeling the muscles move beneath his smooth warm skin, her nails digging into his flesh and her hot breath caressing his body, his heat and his scent driving her relentlessly upwards. Her body undulated beneath him, hot and ready. He could stand it no longer. He reared up over her and entered her in one swift motion. Kathryn was lost, her orgasm upon her instantly, her body taut and her muscles clenching as a joyous cry of ecstasy was torn from her lips. Chakotay thrust once, then again, and with a yell, released himself into her in heated bursts. They collapsed together, lying in each others arms momentarily sated and euphoric.

Chakotay swept Kathryn’s hair from her face and showered gentle kisses on her lips and cheeks. He tenderly caressed her shoulders and arms, working his hands over her breasts, kneading the soft flesh and pinching gently at her nipples. Closing her eyes she felt her arousal build again, slower this time, less frantic, but just as intense. She ran her fingers through his hair and down the sides of his face and neck. Leaning forward she kissed and nipped at his neck taking deep delicious breaths of him. He was hardening inside her. She could feel the heat of him as he swelled within her. She was filled with joy, with love and with him. They began rocking together slowly and gently, moving inexorably towards bliss. Holding each another close, and whispering words of love, desire and devotion, they made rapturous and languorous love until late in the night.

Tom, B’Elanna and Harry were in the mess hall after having their evening meal, sitting quietly with smug smiles on their faces. Tom finally looked up and at his co-conspirators. “Well, what do you think is happening now?”

Harry looked pained. “What do you think is happening, Tom? I don’t need you to spell it out for me.”

B’Elanna just smiled. “Computer, what is the status of the captain and Commander Chakotay?”

The tinny voice replied. “The captain and Commander Chakotay are asleep.”

Tom grinned. “What is the location of the captain and Commander Chakotay?”

“Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are in the captain’s quarters.”

All three looked at one another and smiled. Tom leant forward and placed his hands on his knees. “Mission accomplished I’d say. And about time too. Come on B’E, let’s get you two to bed.” He stood up and pulled B’Elanna out of her chair, placing his hand protectively over her swollen belly. “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Night, Tom, B’Elanna.” They exited the mess hall leaving Harry alone to stare out the view port as a slow smile crept across his face.

He had the big chair tonight for Gamma shift so he’d better get moving. As he was leaving the mess hall for the Bridge, he stopped and grinned.

“Computer, divert all calls for the captain and Commander Chakotay to the Bridge.”

“Affirmative.” Mentally patting himself on the back, he made his way along the corridor to the turbo lifts. It was the least he could do. He was very happy for his commanding officers. This had been a long time coming and something that most of the crew had wished and hoped for for years. He nodded to himself as he entered the turbo lift, then turning around he smiled and the lift doors closed.

In the captain’s quarters the new lovers lay sleeping, wrapped in each others arms, oblivious to the machinations of their crew and truly at peace for the first time in many years.

Voyager flew on through the endless star studded blackness towards the Alpha Quadrant, but in their hearts, they were finally home.

- _Fin_ -


End file.
